Head or Heart
I want to follow on from last week’s episode. People have asked me this question quite a lot. How do you know what guidance to follow. In other words, how do you know the difference between intuitive guidance and your mind taking over. Do you listen to your head or heart, or both?
Another question which then comes into play – which nudge should I follow? I get so many flashes of inspiration or ideas!
Excellent questions and I wanted to address some answers for you.
What’s the difference between head and heart?
Let’s take the first one – how do we know the difference between head and heart.
Like I said last week, this one takes practice. But an easy way to work it out is by feeling into the tone of the guidance. Soul or heart guidance comes from a place of love, whereas head guidance often has fear attached.
But be careful here. Sometimes our Soul pushes us out of our comfort zone. And that can feel like fear. But sit with it. Do you get a tingle of excitement when you follow the nudge your intuition is giving you?
Breathe into it. Imagine yourself taking the steps and succeeding at whatever it is that your heart wants you to do. How does your body feel?
Do you feel alive? Expanded? Free?
Love or Fear?
Don’t let your head get in on the act at this point. Just feel into the guidance. Where is it sitting in your body? Have you butterflies in your tummy? Breathe. Fear is just excitement without the breath so breathe and relax into it.
If you’re not feeling a sense of peace and freedom about it, or you can’t feel it in your body then it may well be your head talking. What is it saying?
Do you feel afraid? Do you feel like you are being encouraged to stay put and not make any changes to your life? Are you feeling contracted and fearful despite the breath? Then it may well be your head overthinking things and providing its response, rather than your gut reaction.
Example – leaving a job
It obviously depends very much on the situation you find yourself in. Let’s take some examples.
You are in a job you don’t like and you really want to be your own boss but you are afraid to do anything about it. You keep getting nudges from your intuition to follow your dreams. Perhaps you keep seeing “Go for it” adverts or you keep hearing songs on the radio with lyrics like “What are you waiting for?” Your brain is screaming at you to stay put and keep your salary. You worry about recession or not being able to make enough to pay your bills. Meanwhile your soul is crying out for freedom from the 9 to 5.
what do you listen to? Your head or your heart? Well clearly you need a plan so the head is useful! You must be able to ensure a level of income that supports your life – after all we all need a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.
Can the head help and work with the heart?
The head is only trying to help. Ask it to help you formulate an exit strategy. And also follow your soul’s calling. Maybe you can train in your spare time in the field you want to work in. Perhaps you already have a side hustle going, so you see if you can drop a day at work to focus on it. Perhaps you start working in your business evenings and weekends to build up your income before you quit your job.
There are lots of paths to help you follow the guidance of your Soul. The thing is, once you start to follow it, then more doors open. You create a ripple of intentional energy out into the world. Taking action causes movement. We are not meant to stand still forever, stuck in a rut!
Another example – relationship issues.
You are in a relationship that no longer feels good. Despite your best efforts it is simply not working and you feel suffocated or sad. Your heart is crying out for you to put yourself first. But your head is saying things like “Better the devil you know”. “It will get better, just hang in there.” “Don’t leave, what will people think!”
Now obviously if you are in danger you need to get out as fast as possible. But let’s say it is simply a matter of 2 people who are no longer in love with each other. And you are going through the motions. Then perhaps your gut is calling you to make changes.
When you are honest with yourself about your feelings you may realise that you want freedom. Or perhaps your gut is suggesting ways to rekindle the romance. You need to sit with the feelings. Honour what is coming up. And be radically honest about what you truly want and need.
You see, often soul advice comes with the requirement for radical honesty. To truly honour yourself and be truthful about what you need and want out of life. It is not a dressed rehearsal. You need to be the driver of your life, don’t settle for being a passenger in someone else’s dream!
Too many ideas?!
Let’s look at the other side of the coin. What if you have too many ideas? Or so much inspiration that you can’t decide which way to go.
This happens to me sometimes. It is like a tap. Once you start to lean into your soul guidance, a lot can start coming through. And then your head also gets in on the act. Coming up with its own ideas to add to the guidance and before you know it, you are 100 miles from where you started.
So the secret is to write the ideas and guidance down. Sit with it for a while before running with it.
Let it percolate
Often your Soul will come up with the core idea but then your head can assist in fleshing it out. For example, with Soul Food Circle. I was being nudged to create a community space where all my work could be in one place for people to access. It took a while to work out how that would make sense. But by sitting with it and allowing it to percolate, the ideas came together and now Soul Food Circle exists!
When I feel overwhelmed with ideas and inspiration I like to brain dump. That simply means I like to write it all down. I get a huge sheet of paper and a marker and I just dump it all out of my head on to the paper. It clears the decks. It allows me headspace. And it helps me work out what is from the heart and what is nonsense in my head.
Head and Heart in alignment
Then once it is all out on paper I can look at it and decide, from the heart, what I want to focus on. I can decide which are my top 3 priorities. And then from there I can begin to make a plan. This keeps both heart and head happy.
Because when you can get your head to work in alignment with your heart and soul – you have a winning combination.